Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
