sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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