Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
