The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
