I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
