Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
