I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
