If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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