OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
