He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
