Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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