Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
