Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
