So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
