We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
