So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
