All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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