did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
