you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
