my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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