I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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