A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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