stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
This baby is an asshole
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Randomize
