I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
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