y did u give ur computer a hand job?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
