Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
