she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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