he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
