Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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