I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
