i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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