Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
