I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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