Don't you send me to vm
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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