I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
