I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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