i think i have herpe
just one?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
