this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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