I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize