sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
