Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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