i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
this is an emotional support booty call
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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