so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
