sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
