like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
