I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
