We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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