My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
