I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
