so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
