nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
