He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
