Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
