Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
