Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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