Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
