he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
