I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Soap is not a condiment
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
