matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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