What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
