you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
