we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
