That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
