mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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