And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
