She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
