you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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