you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
