I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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