i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
