Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The feeling are messing with the penis
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
