Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
